"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows,

with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."

                                                       ----INTO THE WILD

 

I'm always feelin' unconfident and incapable of doin' most things, 'cause from deep inside i'm lack of strength, which, i think, is sth necessary to build and support ur own confidence. I know my weakness well, but it's not that easy to do sth with it. And i once asked a girl why she's so confident about herself. "I'm confident not becasue i'm good at everything, but because I have confidence for my future", that's her answer. Yeah, it's not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, the bravery to admit weakness and the bravery to feel strong.

 

But how? How to measure urself and find urself at least once. Well, goin' on a trip on myself is the way i try to "face the blind deaf stone alone",even i haven't arranged one yet. I can tell a trip on one's own is not that romantic and pleasant as the one i imagine. I may get lost in somewhere with a map creased in my hand; i may run out of money in the last day of my trip; i may easily feel lonely with no friends stayin' with me. But that's how it's supposed to be, isn't it? You get into a trip and find out the cruelty and hardness about life, after illusion melting down, you start to face the truth and enjoy the real life, enjoy every litte detail in life, even it's suffering.